Friendsgiving

By Haley Jones

Social media has revolutionized the way holidays are celebrated. Simple, private dinner parties have been pushed aside and replaced with Instagram-worthy bashes full of elaborate decorations and catchy themes. However, there has been a subsequent rise in discussions among Millennials and Generation X regarding the stress and pressure of hosting family for holidays. The solution may be to carry out those same holiday traditions, but on a different date and with different company.

In 2011, the Bailey’s brand first promoted the word “Friendsgiving” in an advertisement for Irish cream liqueur.

“Celebrate Friendship: Introducing Friendsgiving — the time of year that’s less about carving turkeys and more about carving out time for friends. Whether you get together before Thanksgiving or after leftovers, Friendsgiving is all about being with your ‘other family.’”

What makes Friendsgiving unique to other ‘friend’ holiday traditions like White Elephant, Secret Santa, Halloween bashes, or New Year’s Eve festivities is the emphasis on a relaxed, low-stake gathering. Blake Bakkila and Lisa Milbrand, of Real Simple magazine, describe Friendsgiving as spending an evening with friends and enjoying classic Thanksgiving food.

“There isn’t a strict set of guidelines, just as long as you and your dining companions are having a good time,” Bakkila and Milbrand said.

With the emphasis on a low-stress feast, unlike the presumed pressures of hosting close and extended generations of family, the planning process of Friendsgiving varies from the traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Fancy china plates and silver cutlery is often replaced with plastic plates and silverware. Decanters of fine red wine that pairs well with turkey and fixings are traded for full bars and tasty seasonal on-theme cocktails. Cooking responsibility for Friendsgiving does not fall on the host, unlike Thanksgiving, but rather many friends contribute to potlucks and even hold competitions for a Friendsgiving best dish.

A quick Google search on how to plan Friendsgiving generates a multitude of blog posts with recipes, decorations, and even quirky hashtags. Pinterest, the social media networking site that uses images to link blog posts to “pinboards,” generates pages upon pages of Friendsgiving must-haves. BySophiaLee, a blogger on Pinterest, gives a step-by-step checklist on how to host the best Friendsgiving dinner.

According to BySophiaLee, the first step is to send out invitations, which can be as simple as a group text message or as fancy as mailed paper invitations. Once invites are sent, it is time to plan the cuisine and delegate dish assignments to those who have RSVPed to attend the event.

The next step is to decorate your “tablescape,” which is a fancy new-age term for centerpieces and photo backdrops. Some Friendsgiving gatherings include a social media worthy set-up with balloon arches, detailed name tags, and aesthetic
dish holders.

The final step, according to BySophiaLee, is to design a party favor for guests to take home, to ensure the event ends with a sweet something.

Though Friendsgiving gained its name with the 2011 Bailey’s advertisement, it has remained in the pop culture news cycle since. Several references to the holiday have been made in television, books, and movies. In 2020, the Friendsgiving movie directed by Nicol Paone poked fun at the casual nature of the holiday, as old lovers and eclectic acquaintances crash the protagonist’s themed dinner party.

In reality, Friendsgiving celebrations were around long before they were coined with an official term. The 1998 Friends episode “The One With the Thanksgiving Flashbacks” shows the cast coming together for a chaotic friend-filled dinner party. The 1986 television show Cheers also featured Friendsgiving in its “Thanksgiving Orphans” episode. How I Met Your Mother debuted a Friendsgiving episode in 2007 titled “Slapsgiving,” highlighting a friendly tradition a few of the main characters share. In 1975, The Bob Newhart Show has Friendsgiving in its “Over the River and Through the Woods” episode, where the main characters spend the day getting drunk on apple cider and vodka while ordering Chinese food and watching football.

While Friendsgiving can get caught up in the social media swirl of decor, fancy outfits, and extravagant dishes, the meaning rings true for every dinner party. The core reasoning behind this celebration is to spend time with friends and be thankful with more than just family members. It has become a sentimental capstone to fall holidays, giving good friends the chance to eat, drink, and be merry.

 

Sources: AmandaFormaro.com/friendsgiving-with-baileys-irish-cream, RealSimple.com/holidays-entertaining/holidays/thanksgiving/what-is-friendsgiving, TotallyPromotional.com/blog/friendsgiving, BySophiaLee.com/friendsgiving, Imdb.com/title/tt8431078