The Art of Good Conversation

Good conversation should leave us feeling fulfilled and appreciated. We each like to walk away inspired and motivated while relishing the moment. Sometimes though, not so much. It seems that even the two basic safety stops, the weather and our health, are topics that are up for debate with issues like global warming and vaccinations. The reality of a conversation without fear of an argument may be slipping away. So, let’s embrace the discomfort and use it to everyone’s advantage.Enter every conversation or debate with the presumption that you have something to learn. Listen not with the intent to reply but to better understand. Be curious and open minded. Be prepared to find out amazing things about people, and in turn, be amazed at what can happen as a result.

We need to shield ourselves against motivated reasoning. I’m not much of a sports fan, but one can easily begin motivated reasoning during a sporting event. Penalty calls or a close play at the plate or the goal line can spark a heated debate. If the call is in your team’s favor, it’s, “Oh, that’s a good call, good call!” If not, the fans shout, “What? No way! C’mon!” Each side will attempt to make a point that is motivated by feeling over fact. Be cautious of that. Resist those motivated reasonings. Seek truth over bias.

If we cut through our prejudices, motivations, and biases and choose to look at the facts over our personal emotions, we can find or create more common ground on which to solve our differences. In doing so, we will be able to reach more comfortable places of compromise and clarity and progress closer to a solution for real problems at hand. We are, in fact, all in this together. Life is a lot more fun when we all play well together.